![]() “Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple” This line from the Gospel for the 13th Sunday in Pentecost falls into the category traditionally referred to as ‘the hard sayings’ of Jesus – Gospel passages that, on the surface at any rate, seem impossibly hard to accept. Who could require, still less commend, that we hate our parents? To understand the message, though, we have to allow for a level of hyperbole that was characteristic of the time and place in which Jesus spoke – the common practice of making a point forcibly by the use of extravagant language. It is not the emotion of hatred that is being commended, but a willingness to give even the deepest attachments of family life second place to Christian discipleship. For many people, however, this is still a step too far, and smacks uncomfortably of religious fanaticism. Indeed, if we take it at face value, only the life of monk, nun or hermit could accord with this requirement. Christian faith and ordinary life, it appears, cannot be combined. There is no getting around the fact that we confront a real choice here, and a difficult one. Still, the lives of innumerable Christians across two millennia are solid evidence that an ordinary life can still be one of faithful discipleship. The crux is about priorities. Happily, most Christians are never confronted with a straightforward clash between the claims of Christ and those of family life. That is when the ultimate test is at its most severe. The same test comes into play at much more mundane levels, however. It is easy to put Christ in second place to the demands of career, business, sport, and even family life. The key thought in Christ’s dramatic statement is this. When we accept God on our terms, rather than on God’s, we effectively relinquish our discipleship. ![]() To be a Christian is to believe that God must come before everything else. This does not mean that we have to abandon the people and things we love. Rather, accepting their radical imperfection is the first step in seeking their transformation within the divine life. This week’s Epistle illustrates the point. Paul’s touching letter to the owner of the runaway slave boy Onesimus expresses the faith that even such a problematic relationship as master and slave can be transformed – “Though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do your duty”, Paul writes, “yet I would rather appeal to you on the basis of love . . . as an old man, and now also as a prisoner of Christ Jesus.” Could it be, he speculates, that this is the reason Onesimus was able to escape? ”So that you might have him back forever, no longer as a slave but more than a slave, a beloved brother -- especially to me but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord”. The love of God, we should conclude, transforms human relationships, even within families, into something deeper.
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